you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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