I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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