windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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