youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
