so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
