quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
