I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
