hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Randomize
