i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
