Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
