I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
