new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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