The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
