Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I believe in your delicious
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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