I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
