someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
