What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
