I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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