If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
