He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
