I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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