Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
