At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
from now on my penis is your penis
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
