I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
