I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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