so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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