Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
only if we run a train.
done.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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