Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
