dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
