It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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