oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
