Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
