At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
