I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
