one two three fourrrrnication!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
