no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
