I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
did i just pee glitter
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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