I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
