I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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