I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
