Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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