so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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