What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
