i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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