Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
