I have demons in me.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize