So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
