I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
