I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
