I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
