i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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